Day 359

Last July, our little family of four headed to the doctor’s office, excited to find out if baby number three was a boy or a girl.  My son Gus was four years old at the time and he just knew it was going to be a boy, he was looking forward to confirmation.  We waited in the exam room for what seemed like forever.  The kids were watching Sesame Street videos on YouTube to pass the time and to keep them from wrecking the place when finally, the doctor came in.  It was show time.  My husband Josh held our one year old in one arm and the video camera in the other.  Gus was sitting beside me in a little chair.  We were all quiet as the doctor started the scan, and then he got quiet too.  I knew immediately that something was wrong.  A few seconds later he said, “I’m so sorry you guys, but the baby’s heart has stopped beating.”  Gus was still little enough that he didn’t catch that, but he did catch that his mom was upset.

Someone handed me a towel and I began to weep into it as quietly as possible, but Gus knew that something was wrong… that this wasn’t the way this was supposed to go.  He began to cry too.  Josh who was also devastated not only about the baby, but because he knew I was crushed, came over and let me know that Gus was starting to get upset.  I knew I needed to be strong for him.  I composed myself, took the towel off my face, and smiled at Gus and told him not to worry about mom.

After the appointment was over we walked to the car and Gus asked about the baby.  I told him we thought there was one in my tummy, but there wasn’t.  He seemed okay with that explanation so we left it at that.  He has never really asked about it since.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant again, with my 4th.  We decided this time around we would find someone to watch the kids during my doctor’s appointments… not because I was afraid of bad news, but because I was afraid it might bring back bad memories for Gus.

Yesterday, I was scheduled for my 20 week anatomy scan, which is the longest and most in depth ultrasound of the whole pregnancy.  I had asked one of my sweet friends if she could keep the kids for me and she said would, but a few hours before the appointment she got hit with food poisioning and had to cancel.  I thought about calling another friend, but decided to just take the kids along.  They were both excited.  I prayed a quick prayer and asked God to guard Gus’ mind from any flash backs from last July.  I didn’t want the happy moment to get spoiled for him or for me.  I printed some Bubble Guppies coloring pages, packed some crayons, and dum dums and we headed to the office.

Both kids were happy and care free the entire visit.  Gus got to see his new little sister’s face on the ultrasound monitor and watch her put her tiny hands in her tiny mouth… the very thing he gets in trouble for all of the time!  He thought it was funny.

I sure don’t like that my friend  was sick yesterday, but I’m glad we ended up taking the kids with us.  We got back a happy moment that was stolen from us last year.  I was thinking about that before bed last night when I opened up my YouVersion Bible to see that this was the verse of the day,

Job 19:25 But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth at last.

Redeemer – one charged with the duty of restoring the rights of another and avenging his wrongs.  This title is peculiarly applied to Christ.  He redeems us from all evil by the payment of ransom.  (Easton’s Bible Dictionary)

But as for me, I KNOW that my Redeemer lives!  And I am so thankful that with everything else that he holds in His hands, He took the time to redeem a special moment for me and my family yesterday and that there is more where that came from.

  1. My Redeemer Lives!!
  2. He did stand upon the earth and He will do it again!
  3. Jesus has redeemed so many moments for our family over the last 20 weeks and I know there is more where that came from.
  4. He holds the whole world in His hands, yet He still takes time to minister specifically to me.
  5. That Job 19:25 just happened to be YouVersion’s verse of the day yesterday.
  6. God’s grace covered Gus while we dealt with the loss of Felix last year and God kept him from experiencing any flashbacks yesterday.
  7. My Redeemer Lives by Nicole C Mullen.  One of my mom’s favorite songs.  I listened to it this morning after I wrote this blog and it wrecked me and the make up I was putting on.  Powerful!
  8. I told Josh what I wrote about and that song and he said he woke up with a different song, but same title in his head.  This is a great song too and amazing we both woke up with songs about our redeemer on our hearts.
  9. Clean house!
  10. All caught up with laundry.
  11. Josh woke up early and did breakfast with the kids so I could get my blog written before we headed to Tulsa this afternoon.
  12. While Josh and the kids were at the breakfast table I heard Beau tell him, “Daddy, you are the best snuggle-er in the whole wide world.”
  13. Beau then told me, “Mommy, you are the best reader in the whole wide world.”  She’s gotta be the most adorable two year old in the whole wide world!
  14. Gus got his hair cut today and he did so good, especially considering he had to be very still for about 40 minutes!
  15. I was not happy with how the hair cut turned out, but we were on our way to Tulsa and it just so happens Gus’ Papa used to be a barber and he’s going to fix it for him tomorrow.
  16. Gus’ ears!!  I hardly ever see them with his little mop top hair.  I’m looking forward to having them out in the open for a while.
  17. Yummy salad for lunch.
  18. Safe drive up to Tulsa today.
  19. Love, love, love doing the 4 hour drive with Josh.
  20. Got to talk through some ideas and get some advice from Josh on how to prepare the message I am going to teach in September.  Feeling much better about the whole speaking thing.
  21. The kids traveled great.  Beau even took a pretty good nap on the way in!
  22. Drove through a refreshing, great smelling rain shower.
  23. Mazzio’s Pizza!
  24. I rarely splurge for a fountain drink, but if I’m at Mazzio’s I must get a Cherry Coke.  It did not disappoint.  I want to know Mazzio’s Cherry Coke secret.
  25. Nana & Papa treated us to Andy’s Custard for dessert.
  26. The kids went to sleep so good tonight.  We didn’t have to get on to them one time, which is usually not the case when they have to sleep in the same room!
  27. Fun night visiting with Nana & Papa.  We haven’t gotten to really hang out with them in a long time.
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