Day 260

Psalm 42:3 (MSG)  I’m on a diet of tears- tears for breakfast, tears for supper.  All day long people knock at my door, Pestering, “Where is this God of yours?”

No diet is fun, but a diet of tears is the worst diet imaginable.  David is going through some tough stuff as he’s writing this Psalm.  His heart is broken and he feels God is distant.  People are asking, “Where’s your big God now?” and he’s wondering the same thing… Where are you God?

On July 3rd, 2012 I found out at a routine 20 week ultrasound that the baby I was expecting in November no longer had a heart beat and I would have to deliver him stillborn on July 7th.  For four days I was on a diet of tears.  I cried so many the first day I literally could not see when it was time to get in bed that night, my eyes were completely fogged over.  My heart was broken, but God did not feel distant, He felt closer than ever.  He helped me and my husband both make it to July 8th.

He did for us what He did for David.

Psalm 42:8 The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, And in the night His song shall be with me— A prayer to the God of my life.

I had my first two children in the afternoon.  With Gus I went in at 8:00 a.m. and was holding him by 1:00 p.m.  With Beau I went in at 9:00 a.m. and was holding her by 2:00 p.m.  For the stillborn delivery I had to get there at 7:00 p.m. and I was in labor throughout the night.  It was not only dark outside, it was dark inside.  It was the darkest moment of my life.

I believe when David wrote “in the night His song shall be with me”, he was not only referring to when it’s dark outside, but when it’s dark inside.  He was saying in our darkest hour, HIS song shall be with us.

That night in the hosptial God sent HIS song to me.

What does HIS song sound like?

“It’s a song that speaks of His lovingkindness and the blessings springing from it.  It’s a song that He is the subject of.  His perfections, His works, His salvation and glory!” -Gills

In my darkest hour, God sent me HIS song… Matt Redman wrote it, but it’s God’s song.  As I sang out “you’re rich in love and you’re slow to anger, your name is great and your heart is kind, for all your goodness I will keep on singing, 10,000 reasons for my heart to find” God was doing something in my spirit.

Felix was born just before the sun came up on the morning of July 7th, as if God wanted to let us know that although we spent the night in darkness, there was a new day dawning, a day where He would command His lovingkindness to overtake us.

When you are going through dark times, God wants HIS song to be with you.  He knows if He can get you singing HIS song, you will make it through the night and get to the next day full of His lovingkindness.

Psalm 42:8 (The Voice) When night settles in and all is dark, He keeps me company— His soothing song, a prayerful melody to the True God of my life.

It’s hard to see in the dark, but it’s not hard to listen… listen for that soothing song, HIS soothing song and when it comes to you, sing it out.  It may be a song you sing at church, it may be a song you haven’t heard in years, it may be a song that you have on your iPod, it may be a song that just comes out of your heart- an original… whatever the case may be, HIS song can carry with it the hope you need to get you through the dark night into the light of a new day.

  1. In the night His song shall be with me. 
  2. He commands His lovingkindness in the daytime.
  3. When I needed it most, He sent me 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman.
  4. The song writers that use their gifts to write HIS songs.
  5. There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.
  6. God is rich in love.
  7. He’s slow to anger.
  8. His name is great.
  9. His heart is kind!
  10. He never felt distant even in the darkest hour.
  11. Extra good grapefruit for breakfast.
  12. Beautiful morning.
  13. Enjoyed being outside in the sunshine and breathing in some fresh air.
  14. The napping ducks woke up when we got to the pond and were ready for some hot dog buns.  The kids had so much fun throwing them out there for them.
  15. Gus’ bike got a flat tire and he had to walk it most of the way home, but he had a great attitude about the whole thing.
  16. Gus and Beau swinging and singing “Jesus is My Super Hero” accompanied by several nearby birds.
  17. Gus led Bible time for us this morning.  Did a really, really great job teaching about Jesus calming the storm.  He told me afterward he wanted to be a pastor.
  18. Ninja Cowboy Bear.  This little find from the library has provided Gus hours of entertainment.  He loves reading it and he loves playing the game.
  19. The sweet, delicious watermelon in my fridge right now.
  20. Ice cream man came through our neighborhood this afternoon.  Iron Man Popsicle for Gus and a Crayon popsicle for Beau.
  21. Watching Gus & Beau wave the ice cream man down.  It was one of the best things I’ve seen in a long time.
  22. Left overs.  Wasn’t excited about them, but they did the job and  no food/money was wasted.
  23. Enjoyed working to the new Bethel Live album Josh sent to me this afternoon.
  24. In Your Light.  What a joyful song.
  25. Prayer night with my husband.
  26. My husband only watches basketball during the playoffs.  I couldn’t handle it all season.
  27. 20,085 views for 10kreasons!

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